“If you think dating in Nigeria is hard, try doing Valentine’s as a single immigrant in Canada.”

That is how David, a Nigerian tech professional based in Canada, describes his recent experience navigating relationships abroad.

He arrived in Canada years ago with little more than a suitcase and ambition. Like many immigrants, he took on survival jobs — warehouse shifts and ride-hailing — before eventually securing stable employment in the technology sector. He recently bought his first home, a milestone he once only imagined.

Yet, as he puts it, success can feel incomplete without companionship.
David says he hoped to meet a Nigerian partner — not out of narrow preference, but because shared cultural humour, language and upbringing often make connection easier. “Someone who understands the jokes without explanation,” he explains.

Dating abroad, however, proved different from what he knew in Nigeria. There were no family introductions or mutual community networks smoothing the process. Instead, he encountered what he describes as a more transactional and immigration-aware dating culture.

In some instances, conversations turned quickly to financial stability, permanent residency status or long-term security. He says those experiences made him increasingly cautious about whether intentions were emotional or practical.

Determined to remain optimistic, David attended a Nigerian church service, where he met Jessica. They spoke regularly in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day and agreed to spend the evening together at an upscale restaurant.

The date, he says, went well. Conversation flowed easily, and he felt encouraged that he might finally have met someone aligned with his values.

Later that evening, during a more personal conversation, Jessica disclosed that she was transgender.
David says the revelation caught him off guard, not because of hostility, but because it was not something previously discussed. He realised at that moment that assumptions had replaced clarity.

“I should have asked deeper questions earlier,” he reflects. “When you’re excited, you sometimes focus on chemistry instead of compatibility.”

He ended the relationship respectfully, concluding that they were seeking different things.

Looking back, David believes the experience was less about shock and more about self-awareness. Migration, he says, reshapes expectations.

Loneliness, ambition and cultural adjustment can all influence how immigrants approach relationships.
He now places greater emphasis on open conversations, shared values and patience before emotional investment.

“You can’t rush clarity,” he says. “Take your time, ask questions, understand the person fully.”

For now, he is focusing on himself and allowing relationships to develop more deliberately in the future.

“Due diligence is now my love language,” he adds with a laugh. “Once bitten, twice shy.”

The experience, he says, was not a failure — but a reminder that building a life abroad requires intention not just in career, but also in matters of the heart.